My Halloween

               For many a Halloween I have been a free spirit.  You know, I was a gypsy or a hippie or something to do with nature.  Ever since I was a child nothing has made me feel more alive than being outside.  When I feel sick all I have to do is lay on the ground.  Sounds really weird, but when I lie on the real ground, not just the floor, I feel 10 times better.  It's crazy but it's me.  I think I get my strength from the earth.  I think I came from the earth.  You know sprouted like a flower right from the ground. 

                        Sometimes when I dream,(and it's not a nightmare) I dream of running.  Running and running until I can't anymore, then I collapse on the ground and the roots of a giant tree pull me into the ground, but I'm not scared.  It almost feels like I belong.  Another dream I have is one where I'm lying in a small pool of water.  I drift to the side of the small pool, and stand up, only to begin sinking into the slick mud.  But this is not a comforting feeling so I begin to struggle and cry and pry until I wake up.  The two dreams are very controversial.  I thought you might enjoy trying to interpret what they mean.

Happy Hallows Eve,
Lil Red Riding Hood

Crying

I used to hate crying.  I hated the way it burned my cheeks.  I hated the way I couldn't control it.  I thought it was a sign of weakness.  But as I've grown I have seen some of the strongest people I know cry.  I find crying almost a release.  A constant companion of late.  I almost do it on purpose now.  Some people cut, I cry. It is a sweet a release,  when no one is looking a small warm drop falling off my cheek feels nice and comforting.  It doesn't make you weak it makes you strong. 

With much love, 

Lil Red

Beautiful

Have you ever taken a good look at your face?  Without any makeup?  Well I challenge you to do that.  But do it with confidence in yourself.  Ignore the negatives and focus on the positives.  Don't say you're ugly.  Nobody is ugly.  The word ugly was made by some hateful guy who wanted to make others miserable.  As long as you are okay with your self then that's all that matters.  If you are beautiful on the inside then you will always be beautiful on the outside.

Be your own kind of Beautiful.

Love,

Lil Red 

Do What Makes You Happy

People will judge you no matter what you do.  No one is ever gonna be happy with all of your choices.  So I say do what makes you happy and what feels right to you.  Don't let other people choose for you.  You are your own person and you deserve to be happy.  So say what you want and say what you mean.  Say whats on your mind.  Be who you are under all those layers, and use a knife because peeling takes to long.  You only Live once so make it count.

Well that's all I had to rant about today.  

With much love,

Lil Red

Heres to the Girls

Here's to the girls who don't care about society.  To the girls who don't wake up with perfect hair.  Who will eat a Big Mac instead of a salad.  To the girls who will wear sweat pants over skinny jeans.  To the girls who aren't popular.  To the girls with brighter minds than smiles.  To the girls that don't get all the boys.  To the girls that prefer flats over heels.  To the girls who don't need a boy to tell them they are beautiful to feel better.  To the girls who don't need to wear 50 pounds of makeup.  Who like the feel of t-shirts and hoodies.  To the girls who think beyond high school.  To the girls who aren’t girly girls.  Who aren't afraid to break a nail.  Who aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s right.  Here's to the girls just like me.

With much love,

Lil Red

To Disappear

I run away a lot.   I don't really know the exact reason. One of my guy friends said its because you want someone to follow you.  I mean that would be nice but disappearing is way to fun for that.  Disappearing is the easy part getting someone to notice I'm gone is the hard part.  It's really simple to disappear when your me.  I just slowly stop talking to people then I look at my exits and search for a simple but not obvious way out.  Then I just walk out with confidence and no one even turns a cheek.  I like watching them not notice me.  Not to be weird or say I'm like god but I wonder if that's what god feels like.  He watches us without us really knowing like if we'd pay attention we'd know.  If that makes any sense. And no I am not comparing my self to god I'm just making a point.  

             I like being alone without having to worry about whether or not any ones looking for you.  Just sit in the dark a watch the stars in peace.  It's nice and I can think clearly.  So maybe I was just born to be left behind.  I fall behind or run ahead its how the story always goes.  And maybe it would be nice if someone did notice me missing and chased after me but then what would I do in my spare time.  Probably just curl up in my books and sleep like a sloth.

Just to let you know,

Lil Red

I am What I am

I am what I am

I am a tree climber

I am a glass half full

I am what I am

I am a mountain that can't be moved

I am a light in the dark

I am a solider made of steel

I am the spark that starts a fire

I am what I am 

I am a well trained fighter

I am a misunderstood artist 

I am an uniformed writer

I am what I am

I am a reader of many books

I am a lover of many titles 

I am what I am

I am an endless laugh

I am the color red stained forever

I am what I am

I am a dreamer, a seer, and a believer

I am what I am

I am a sheep and turtle lover

I am fearless 

I am a one and only

I am what I am.

I wrote that for my freshman English honors class.  Hope you liked it. 

With much love,

Lil Red

Fall

I love sitting by my open window and listening to the wind rushing through the leaves.  The almost ocean like sound could put you right to sleep.  The distant harmony of crickets adds to the alluring sound of this festival of fall.  Over the tops of the tree lines I can see the bright crisp sliver of the silver moon, it's so subtle but at the same time very definite.   Light breezes float through the small holes in my window causing my blinds to sway and make a quiet tapping noise.  Fall has surprised me this year as it does every year.  It sneaks up on me like a thief in the night.  Every year I try so hard to prepare for the chill and the late nights and the changing of the leaves that I don't see fall staring me straight in the face.  Never have I ever seen a fall that can even compare to the ones in North Carolina.  The reddish mountain views.  The violet sunrises.  Fall is the most amazing season there ever was.

I love breathing in the cool breezes, sending a brilliant chill though my whole body.  I love the warm drinks that follow fall.  I love the sweaters and the hoodies and the hats and the scarves and the gloves.  I love the stars on the coolest of nights.  I love the bundling of layers just to keep warm.  I love when I can see my breath in the air, that reminds me I'm human.  I love the candles.  But most of all, I love the crunch of the leaves every step I take.

Feeling Festive,
Lil Red

Tomorrows

                  You can know some one your whole life and never really know them at all.  You can know some one your whole life and watch them change right before your eyes.  You can love some one for so long then all of a sudden feel very distant.  You can dislike some one one day then the next you love them.  Humans are meant to change and grow.  Were meant to wish.  Were meant to hope for the best but expect the worse.  We trust so easy.  We are like children always trying to catch up but never really getting there.  We are as fragile as glass the slightest tear of our hearts can send us straight of the edge.  Our minds are fickle.  We will always wonder and question, never being completely sure.  We attach our selves to each other, which can make us stronger......or tear us down.  

              Sometimes we fall for that thing called love which can also make us stronger or tear us unto pieces.  We can go on forever this way.  On a cycle to our own destruction.  It's like they say  "if we don't learn from the past, the past is bound to repeat itself."  We are all risk takers in this world.  We risk our lives just walking out the door, but we do it anyway.  Why?  Because we are humans.  We believe in good.  We believe in hope.  We believe in brighter days.  We believe in tomorrows.  We believe that no matter what happens there is always a tomorrow with no mistake in it yet.  And that my friends is in its self a beautiful thing.

With Much Love,
Lil Red

The Sound

Some people say I listen to music so I can think.  I listen to music so I stop thinking.  I think to much to often and about everything.  The sound of music is amazing.  I think it's the greatest thing god made for man.  It's the greatest companion out there.  It's just brilliant.

The beat of music is important but it's the lyrics that get me.  A lot of people listen to music because of the beat.  But a lot of times the lyrics can be very vulgar and degrading.  I like 40's music, it's very innocent and up lifting.  Back then people didn't sing about party's and getting drunk and drugs and never have I ever heard them use one curse word.  It's really amazing you should listen to it sometime. 

Listening to the good stuff,

Lil Red

Writing

              I write a lot, most of it for myself or I shred it right after.  The few times I do share my writing people get kinda offended,  because I'm so honest about everything.  When I grow up I'd like to be a writer.  I'd write fiction because I can't stand reality.  I some times write about things I wish I'd done or said.  Adventures I will never take.  Places I will never see.

            The thing is though if my teacher gives me some sort of assignment I could sit in front of it for an hour and only have written my name.  I like the freedom of being able to write at will about whatever I want.  I have only filled one journal in my lifetime.  I have many journals but they only contain bits and pieces.

With Much Love,
Lil Red