2:47am

I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling.  I think about my school.  I think about my friends.  I think about the test I'm going to have that day.  I think about my mom.  I think about my future.  I think about him.  I think about him a lot.  The way he walks.  The way he talks.  His smile.  His laugh.  I hate him.  I hate him because I love him.  I hate him because I can't stop loving him.  He's Insensitive and mean.  He's caring and kind.  He's selfish.  He's selfless.  He's arrogant and stubborn.  He's sweet and witty.  He's like a bipolar disorder.  One day I hate him.  One day I love him.  He's a waste of my time.  Yet I waste hours on him.  It's 2:47 am and I'm struggling not to cry.  It's 2:47 am and I can't help but think of him.  It's 2:47 am and my mind is at war with thoughts of him.  It's 2:47 am and I have given up.  It's 2:48 am and my mind goes blank.