Up All Night

I don't feel like sleeping anymore.  Before I wanted to catch up on my sleep all the time.  Now I'm so far behind I could never catch up.  I'm not good at catching up.  Things happen in my family all the time and I'm always the last to know.  I mean it's not like I don't try, because I really do.  I want to be ahead of the curb instead of behind it.  It's 12:45 at night and all I want to do is type.  Sometimes I think if I sit in front of the computer long enough that something beautiful might poor out.   I want to be this writer, this great writer like Jane Austen or Louisa Alcott.  Someone people remember.  But here I am.  Failing English believe it or not.

I'm such a mess.  And I'm crazy.  A while back I was texting someone.  I was telling him if I didn't keep every thing bottled up he would think I was legit crazy.  But he told me he already knew I was crazy.  It sounds stupid but it meant a lot, because for all I've tried to hide my crazy side, it's still there.  And some one saw it, and accepted it. Accepted me.  Not the girl with all her curtains drawn, but the girl setting fire to them.

Now I have to keep writing because I'm wide awake.  The other day I found this quote I really liked.  It said "The what if's & should have's will eat your brain."-John O'Callaghan.  I really liked this quote because of it's relativity.

Time update, it's 1:12 Am.  I used to think no one was up this late.  I used to think 6 am was early.  But now I know that there is no early and there is no late.  Humans develop habits of sleeping.  We sleep at night because that's what our ancestors did.  Because it was dark and you couldn't work in the dark.  We never lost that habit.  People sleep when they want, not because the sun has switched places with the moon.  Not because it's dark outside.   But because our bodies say so.  I think it would be marvelous to sleep during the day and be busy at night.

I love certain sounds.  I love the sound of horses walking.  I love the sound of coffee brewing.  I like the sound a singer makes when their voice catches and they're really close to the mike.  I like the sound of matches when they first catch flame.  I like the sound a record makes when the tracks done.  I like the sound keyboards make when you type.  Random I know but it's what I like.

Well its 1:54 and I think for the sack of my well being I should catch a few hours of sleep.

With Much Love,
Lil Red

Today

I sit with my head against the cold car door window.  Looking up at the outside world.  The outside world looking down at me.  Bright lights speeding past me.  Restaurants, shops, billboards, churches, hospitals, and people....lots of people.  But that's the thing.  People.  I don't quite get them as well as people think I do.  I don't get how they do all this.  They live everyday as if yesterday never even happend.  Maybe that's my problem.  I'm stuck in yesterday.  I feel like a child let loose in a giant metal playground.  I have to make my own decisions and my own mistakes.  I don't like it.  I just want to curl back up in my shell and never come out......I want to go back when my mom was my best friend and everything she could fix, when she could cushion my blows.  I don't want to be here.  I don't want to be anywhere.  Just....I want to be a child again.  This world is to be and great for me.  I don't think I can take it alone.  But I must.  I'm so sick and tired of people telling me to do the thing I've been doing for years.  But same result every time......silence.

I must move on from this cloud.  This cloud that I made from my emotions and fears.  I need to live today.  I hate when people say "there's always tomorrow". Because there isn't.  Today is all we have.  It's all we will ever have.  We don't know if tomorrow even exist yet.  We don't have yesterday and we don't have tomorrow.  All we have is today.  And today I shall move forward.

With Much Love,

Lil Red

Not Broken At All

I'm not broken.  I feel broken but I'm just a little banged up.  All  I need is a little fixing up.  A fresh coat of self confidence and I should be good as new.  In all honesty these last two months have been pretty hard.  I've loved and I've lost.  I've cried until I thought I'd run out of tears.  I've run from my problems instead of facing them.  I've slept for hours only to wake up tired.  I've had this constant pit in my stomach.  I've experienced the real world and trust me it's not as fun as in the movies.  I've experienced injustice.  I've had many misfortunes.  But the thing is that I can't feel sorry for myself anymorw.  It gets me nowhere.  Same with blaming others.  I just need to sit and discuss these matters with myself.  I need to wake up from my down ward spiral pity party.  I need to run and run fast.  I need to sleep 8 hours a night.  I need to stop eating junk.  I need to listen to my beautiful Mommy.  I need to work harder.  I need to see the world with innocent eyes.  I need to repent.  I need to change myself for the better, because if I don't change myself, who will?

With all the love in the world,
Lil Red

Fading

                      I think I'm fading.  Fading in and out of life.  Loosing my humanity.  I don't enjoy talking to people anymore.  Words have lost there meaning.  I've lost my meaning.  I fake emotions to make people think I care but in reality, I really just don't.  I don't even find books enjoyable anymore.  I haven't truly laughed in a while.  I'm mentally and physically done.  There is no lesson to be taught here.  There is no hidden meaning.  There is no inspiration.  This is me being completely honest.  I'm tired, I'm worn out and I'm done.  

Feeling kinda soggy,

Lil Red

Just Checking In

So I realized that we are almost mid way through November and I have only made like three blog posts.  My bad and I apologize.  A lot has been going on in my life of recent.  I have decided that I am going insane.  I figure in a week or two I should be an in an asylum.  If not then a padded  room of my own at home.  Wouldn't that be glorious?  A room of my own.  Even if it was padded I would be okay if it was all mine.  No kids to run around in it.  Yes, that would be nice.

So on a less dramatic note I have been in a rather booky mood.  I have read eight books since the beginning of November.  So I have decided to make November National Book Month.  I'm sure there is already a book month out there, but I really don't care.  Well I just wanted to check in with you guys and let you know that I am not insane quite just yet. 

With Much Love,
Lil Red

Something Special

I think I am slowly going insane. I think the monsters in my head are finally taking over.  Little things set me off.  I am loosing sleep at night yet I could sleep on a park bench during the day.  Every things building up and nothings breaking down, but me.  People used to tell me I was something special.  I was, as they would say, a light.  I feel like a damp candle now.  I feel like a junk drawer, full of use full things but no one to use them. Colors seem to have faded away.  Everything seems dingy and  blue.  Something needs to change.  Whether it's me or the world, I don't care but it must happen.  

I'm done talking to people about my problems because it dosent seem to help anything.  People listen and act like they care but in the end they just think I'm crazy and keep moving on.  It's okay I like being by myself.  I like being all alone.  All I know how to do is run away any way.  And in the end that's what I'm gonna do......run away. 

With much love,

Lil Red 

Broken

      Have you ever been broken?  Has your spirit been broken or maybe your heart.  Maybe it was your dreams or it could have been your sanity.  Breaking is the worst part trust me, but mending isn't fun either.  But from what I've been told, it gets better.  You will always have scars, but that's not a bad thing.  Scars make you stronger.  Scars remind you not to do it again.  Scars tell people you will not be messed with in that way again.  I'd rather have scars than open wounds.  Open wounds tear you apart and never heal.  They make you weak.  They make you afraid.  Let things heal.  Let them brush off your shoulders.  Be a new stronger you.  
     
      Don't let them break you.  Don't let them win.  Take from the experience and never let it happen again.  Let yourself grow, not wither away.

With Much Love,
Lil Red
     

Top Ten

  So I decided to try something new.  I'm going to each month do a top ten post.  It will have top ten songs I'm listening to this month and top ten quotes this month.  Hope you enjoy.

Top Ten Songs:

1.Pompeii, Bastille

2.Tranquilize, Finish Ticket

3.Strong, London Grammar

4.This Gift, Glen Hansard

5.Until you came along, JJ Heller

6.Team, Lorde

7.Human, The killers

8.Sister Song, Perfume Genius

9.Turning Page, Sleeping at last

10.New York, Snow Patrol


Top Ten Quotes:

1."In life you will learn that you have two hands.  One for helping yourself and the other for helping others."
-Audrey Hepburn

2."Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
-Dr.Seuss

3."Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
-Abraham Lincoln

4."Do not take life too seriously.  You will never get out of it alive."
-Elbert Hubbard

5."Elegance is when the inside is as beautiful as the outside."
-Coco Chanel

6."Falling in love is the easy part, getting someone to catch you is the hard part."
-Anonymous

7."Today you are you that is truer than true.  There is no one alive that is youer than you."
-Dr.Seuss

8."Coming to terms with who you truly are is the first step to happiness."
-Anonymous

9."I myself am totally made of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."
-Anonymous

10. "The sun will not always shine as bright as the day before."
-Lil Red

Well I hope you like and enjoy it.

With much love,
 Lil Red

Boston or bust

       So I just got back from the great city of Boston.  Apparently Massachusetts invented America, or so the locals say.  I attended a Celtics game and five workshops.  The Celtics won and I learned a lot in the workshops.  You would say this trip was a success right?  Well it was for the most part aside from me falling down the stair, getting stuck on the subway, almost flying to Charlotte by myself, having a panic attack and loosing my Ipod and wallet at the airport.  Other than that it was great but lets just say none of that was my fault (other than falling down the stairs of course).  I think if my OLD adviser was still here none of that would have happened.  Just saying that when people care more about themselves then the people they're supposed to be looking after then bad things can happen for example the list above.  But the best part is that person is trying to say its my fault.

Well I just wanted to share that with like the seven people that read my blog.  Also wanted to let you guys know I'm home safe and sound.

Hugs and Kisses,
Lil Red 

My Halloween

               For many a Halloween I have been a free spirit.  You know, I was a gypsy or a hippie or something to do with nature.  Ever since I was a child nothing has made me feel more alive than being outside.  When I feel sick all I have to do is lay on the ground.  Sounds really weird, but when I lie on the real ground, not just the floor, I feel 10 times better.  It's crazy but it's me.  I think I get my strength from the earth.  I think I came from the earth.  You know sprouted like a flower right from the ground. 

                        Sometimes when I dream,(and it's not a nightmare) I dream of running.  Running and running until I can't anymore, then I collapse on the ground and the roots of a giant tree pull me into the ground, but I'm not scared.  It almost feels like I belong.  Another dream I have is one where I'm lying in a small pool of water.  I drift to the side of the small pool, and stand up, only to begin sinking into the slick mud.  But this is not a comforting feeling so I begin to struggle and cry and pry until I wake up.  The two dreams are very controversial.  I thought you might enjoy trying to interpret what they mean.

Happy Hallows Eve,
Lil Red Riding Hood

Crying

I used to hate crying.  I hated the way it burned my cheeks.  I hated the way I couldn't control it.  I thought it was a sign of weakness.  But as I've grown I have seen some of the strongest people I know cry.  I find crying almost a release.  A constant companion of late.  I almost do it on purpose now.  Some people cut, I cry. It is a sweet a release,  when no one is looking a small warm drop falling off my cheek feels nice and comforting.  It doesn't make you weak it makes you strong. 

With much love, 

Lil Red

Beautiful

Have you ever taken a good look at your face?  Without any makeup?  Well I challenge you to do that.  But do it with confidence in yourself.  Ignore the negatives and focus on the positives.  Don't say you're ugly.  Nobody is ugly.  The word ugly was made by some hateful guy who wanted to make others miserable.  As long as you are okay with your self then that's all that matters.  If you are beautiful on the inside then you will always be beautiful on the outside.

Be your own kind of Beautiful.

Love,

Lil Red 

Do What Makes You Happy

People will judge you no matter what you do.  No one is ever gonna be happy with all of your choices.  So I say do what makes you happy and what feels right to you.  Don't let other people choose for you.  You are your own person and you deserve to be happy.  So say what you want and say what you mean.  Say whats on your mind.  Be who you are under all those layers, and use a knife because peeling takes to long.  You only Live once so make it count.

Well that's all I had to rant about today.  

With much love,

Lil Red

Heres to the Girls

Here's to the girls who don't care about society.  To the girls who don't wake up with perfect hair.  Who will eat a Big Mac instead of a salad.  To the girls who will wear sweat pants over skinny jeans.  To the girls who aren't popular.  To the girls with brighter minds than smiles.  To the girls that don't get all the boys.  To the girls that prefer flats over heels.  To the girls who don't need a boy to tell them they are beautiful to feel better.  To the girls who don't need to wear 50 pounds of makeup.  Who like the feel of t-shirts and hoodies.  To the girls who think beyond high school.  To the girls who aren’t girly girls.  Who aren't afraid to break a nail.  Who aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s right.  Here's to the girls just like me.

With much love,

Lil Red

To Disappear

I run away a lot.   I don't really know the exact reason. One of my guy friends said its because you want someone to follow you.  I mean that would be nice but disappearing is way to fun for that.  Disappearing is the easy part getting someone to notice I'm gone is the hard part.  It's really simple to disappear when your me.  I just slowly stop talking to people then I look at my exits and search for a simple but not obvious way out.  Then I just walk out with confidence and no one even turns a cheek.  I like watching them not notice me.  Not to be weird or say I'm like god but I wonder if that's what god feels like.  He watches us without us really knowing like if we'd pay attention we'd know.  If that makes any sense. And no I am not comparing my self to god I'm just making a point.  

             I like being alone without having to worry about whether or not any ones looking for you.  Just sit in the dark a watch the stars in peace.  It's nice and I can think clearly.  So maybe I was just born to be left behind.  I fall behind or run ahead its how the story always goes.  And maybe it would be nice if someone did notice me missing and chased after me but then what would I do in my spare time.  Probably just curl up in my books and sleep like a sloth.

Just to let you know,

Lil Red

I am What I am

I am what I am

I am a tree climber

I am a glass half full

I am what I am

I am a mountain that can't be moved

I am a light in the dark

I am a solider made of steel

I am the spark that starts a fire

I am what I am 

I am a well trained fighter

I am a misunderstood artist 

I am an uniformed writer

I am what I am

I am a reader of many books

I am a lover of many titles 

I am what I am

I am an endless laugh

I am the color red stained forever

I am what I am

I am a dreamer, a seer, and a believer

I am what I am

I am a sheep and turtle lover

I am fearless 

I am a one and only

I am what I am.

I wrote that for my freshman English honors class.  Hope you liked it. 

With much love,

Lil Red

Fall

I love sitting by my open window and listening to the wind rushing through the leaves.  The almost ocean like sound could put you right to sleep.  The distant harmony of crickets adds to the alluring sound of this festival of fall.  Over the tops of the tree lines I can see the bright crisp sliver of the silver moon, it's so subtle but at the same time very definite.   Light breezes float through the small holes in my window causing my blinds to sway and make a quiet tapping noise.  Fall has surprised me this year as it does every year.  It sneaks up on me like a thief in the night.  Every year I try so hard to prepare for the chill and the late nights and the changing of the leaves that I don't see fall staring me straight in the face.  Never have I ever seen a fall that can even compare to the ones in North Carolina.  The reddish mountain views.  The violet sunrises.  Fall is the most amazing season there ever was.

I love breathing in the cool breezes, sending a brilliant chill though my whole body.  I love the warm drinks that follow fall.  I love the sweaters and the hoodies and the hats and the scarves and the gloves.  I love the stars on the coolest of nights.  I love the bundling of layers just to keep warm.  I love when I can see my breath in the air, that reminds me I'm human.  I love the candles.  But most of all, I love the crunch of the leaves every step I take.

Feeling Festive,
Lil Red

Tomorrows

                  You can know some one your whole life and never really know them at all.  You can know some one your whole life and watch them change right before your eyes.  You can love some one for so long then all of a sudden feel very distant.  You can dislike some one one day then the next you love them.  Humans are meant to change and grow.  Were meant to wish.  Were meant to hope for the best but expect the worse.  We trust so easy.  We are like children always trying to catch up but never really getting there.  We are as fragile as glass the slightest tear of our hearts can send us straight of the edge.  Our minds are fickle.  We will always wonder and question, never being completely sure.  We attach our selves to each other, which can make us stronger......or tear us down.  

              Sometimes we fall for that thing called love which can also make us stronger or tear us unto pieces.  We can go on forever this way.  On a cycle to our own destruction.  It's like they say  "if we don't learn from the past, the past is bound to repeat itself."  We are all risk takers in this world.  We risk our lives just walking out the door, but we do it anyway.  Why?  Because we are humans.  We believe in good.  We believe in hope.  We believe in brighter days.  We believe in tomorrows.  We believe that no matter what happens there is always a tomorrow with no mistake in it yet.  And that my friends is in its self a beautiful thing.

With Much Love,
Lil Red

The Sound

Some people say I listen to music so I can think.  I listen to music so I stop thinking.  I think to much to often and about everything.  The sound of music is amazing.  I think it's the greatest thing god made for man.  It's the greatest companion out there.  It's just brilliant.

The beat of music is important but it's the lyrics that get me.  A lot of people listen to music because of the beat.  But a lot of times the lyrics can be very vulgar and degrading.  I like 40's music, it's very innocent and up lifting.  Back then people didn't sing about party's and getting drunk and drugs and never have I ever heard them use one curse word.  It's really amazing you should listen to it sometime. 

Listening to the good stuff,

Lil Red

Writing

              I write a lot, most of it for myself or I shred it right after.  The few times I do share my writing people get kinda offended,  because I'm so honest about everything.  When I grow up I'd like to be a writer.  I'd write fiction because I can't stand reality.  I some times write about things I wish I'd done or said.  Adventures I will never take.  Places I will never see.

            The thing is though if my teacher gives me some sort of assignment I could sit in front of it for an hour and only have written my name.  I like the freedom of being able to write at will about whatever I want.  I have only filled one journal in my lifetime.  I have many journals but they only contain bits and pieces.

With Much Love,
Lil Red

The Great Complication

                 "You're to young to know what love is". That's the biggest lie I have ever heard, and the most frequently told. Love is one of the first feelings you ever have.  You love your mom and your siblings and your friends and the list goes go on and on.  The thing about love is that it is as simple as it gets and people tend to complicate it to much.  You are never to young to have feelings for other people.  Feelings and emotions are timeless there is no "age" limit. 

                 Age is just a number it doesn't define your maturity.  Anyone who thinks it does is ignorant and I pity them.

With much love,

Lil Red

Mistakes

It's funny how close you can be to the ones you love but how far you feel.  Like an outcast in your own home, but there is no one to blame but yourself.  In life we make choices....whether they are good or bad choices is up to you.  I don't think we should be judged by anyone on this earth......no ones perfect.  

I don't like thinking about the past, it brings me down in a state of depression that only the present can bring me out of.  Mistakes take a long time to heal and to partly forget, but you will never forget them.  Maybe that's a good thing though because if we didn't remember our mistakes we would only make them again.  

Feeling a little cloudy,
Lil Red

Stupid things

In life you will realize that you do stupid things and most of the time you yourself will end up being the one to embarrasses you.

Of course I'm guilty to.  Let me give you an example.  Today I apparently talked to loud in the temple causing everyone to look at me followed by the dreaded "Shhhhhhh".  Of course now ill go down as that one really loud girl.  

But of course I did that to myself (huff).  Well any way think before you act is all I can say at the end of the day.....hey that rhymed.

With Much Love,

Lil Red

Not good enough

Have you ever had a person in your life that you wish wasn't?  I do and nothing is ever good enough ever and it hurts because no matter how hard I try it doesn't matter because I didn't do enough.   I would give anything for that person to just for once say I'm proud of you and mean it.  

Sorry bout that bad day.

With much love, 

Lil Red 

Happy Endings

           Life doesn't always have a happy ending.  I've realized that and come to turns with it.  For a class I'm taking I have to read "Things Fall Apart."  A book in which the main character commits suicide in the end.  Why would anyone want to read a book where in the end all hope is lost.  You would think that in high school they would make us read uplifting books.  But no they make us read depressing "classics".  I prefer fiction full of love mystery and magic.  Not because I'm some silly little girl but because I prefer the happy endings over the sad ones.

            Lets be honest there are enough sad endings in this world as it is.

With much love,

Lil Red

Daring

Today I feel daring.  Like nothing can touch me.  Like I'm invincible.  The world is like nothing compared to my courage. I could run a mile or walk through hot stones or tame a lion.

    It's funny how fast things can change.  How things get fixed and how things mend.  How quickly things scab over and become scars. 

With much love,

Lil Red

Unwanted

Have you ever felt just unwanted?  Like you could get in a boat and sail into the ocean.  Then lie in the water and fade away.  I’ve been feeling that way a lot lately.  I hate when if you said out loud what you were thinking everyone would hate you even though they’re thinking the exact same thing.  I feel like a slow love song.  It can only get so loud before it hits its peak.  Everything is better when it’s quiet though. 

 The worst feeling though is the feeling that it’s only started and it can only go downhill from here until it pops and levels out.  But what if it never levels out….who knows

With much Love,

Lil Red

The impossible

I think we all want what we can't have.  We all want that person who's either taken, not interested, or doesn't exist.  We're all waiting for our lives to get interesting ,but what I have realized is that waiting gets you no where.

 Sure everyone longs for that forbidden romance or that moment of a lifetime.  But dreaming about it just gets in the way of your life and what's right in front of you.  You have to get out there and do what you must to get what you want.  Life can be so hard and unfair and a lot of times I feel that it's only me.  But then I take a step back and realize I'm never alone.  No ones alone there's always some one there for you.

With much love, 

Lil red 

Falling in love

I think I fall in love too easily and too fast.  Let me explain.  I fall in love with my friends, my teachers, people i observe, people that don't know I'm alive.  Not the kind of love like, "I want to marry them" but the kind like I want them in my life.

Weird right?

In my opinion falling in love is the easy part.  Getting someone to catch you is the hard part.

I also fall in love with certain aspects of people.  Like I fall in love with their voice or their eyes or hair.  I also quite frequently fall for people's actions, their compassion, their hearts.

I fall in love so easy that I think the day I meet the actual person I want to marry it will be hard for me to fall for them.  If that makes any sense at all...

Well loves I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Hugs and kisses,

Lil Red

Random

So I decided today would be a random day.  So here are 20 random facts about me.

1. My favorite color is red.  But when I was little I told everyone that my favorite color was red becasue it was the color of blood.  You can guess how many friends I had.

2. I have ADHD.  No surprise there.

3. My natural hair color is not red.  It's dirty blonde.

4. I have a birthmark right below the side of my knee.  It looks like an island.

5. I always get cuts that look like vampire bites (no association with any sort of vampire saga, movie or TV show.  That would be lame.) I actually have some scars from them still.

6. My favorite animal is a tortoise.  I used to tell people my favorite animal was a dinosaur.  Probably due to my lack of friends.

7. When I lived in Maryland me and my sisters were bullied by a boy with the initials D.C.  He called us butt crack face...how insulting.

8. I'm part Irish and Scottish.  I'm also part Cherokee.  I guess the paleness over throws any pigment I could possibly have had.  Thanks genetics!

9. I like having money even though I spend it in like two seconds.

10. I have never broken a bone in my life.  (knock on wood.)

11. I can't draw people to save my life.

12. My parents are divorced.

13. I totally believe in ghosts.

14. One time I tried being a vegetarian... it only lasted until my mom made bacon...which was the same day I started being a vegetarian.

15. I can be totally bubbly and out there but I get so shy around new people.  It takes me a long time to gain the courage to talk to new people.

16. I'm turning 16 on July 31st.

17. I can't sing to save my life.

18. I used to have a 2 inch imaginary friend.  Her name was Carly.

19. My lucky number is 19.

20. I hate waiting for surprises.  I even hate waiting to surprise someone else.

Well there you have it, 20 random facts about me.  Hope you enjoyed.

With much love,

Lil Red

Missing the innocents...

Do you ever feel like life just flies right by you at times?

You turn around for one moment and you're 12 and just started middle school.  The next moment you're 15 and a freshman thinking about how your childhood is almost over.

Then you blink and your freshman year is over.

I would give anything to get back that innocents we had as children.  When you wonder about everything at once and make mistakes that your parents always fix...wow, life is so short.

I think it's a little too short for YOLO.  You know, "You Only Live Once."  I think it's only long enough for YOL.  (You Only Live).

I'm going to live with no regrets.  No running away.  No turning back.

Simply Live.

With much love,

Lil Red

        

Perfect?

Perfect…..I have often pondered that word. Why is it a word if nothing is perfect? I think that we were set up to fail. Given false expectations. Given false hope. 

Why would we use a word like “perfect” if it is not meant to be used? I say don’t change yourself to be perfect or what the media portrays as “perfect.” Be your own kind of perfect. There has only been one thing on this earth that was ever truly perfect. 

So don’t set yourself up to fail. Don’t look with envy. Don't change yourself to fit others expectations.  Be who you are.  Who you want to be.  Who you can be. 

With much love,

Lil red

Practice what you Preach

So recently there was a rumor going around that my friend (who we will call Alice) made fun of someone for cutting themselves.  So multiple girls texted “Alice” and called her just to verbally abuse her.  

So let’s think about this for a moment.  Most people cut because they're bullied.  So you’re going to do what other people do to you?  Yeah, that makes no sense.  By doing that no one is ever going to have sympathy for you. 

Also by bullying someone else you will never have true relief.  If you treat others bad then they will treat someone else bad and it can go on forever. 

Sometimes I think we all forget we're human.  We forget we have flaws.  We forget we make mistakes.  We expect perfection when we are nowhere close to perfection ourselves.

I have flaws.

I make mistakes.

I am human. 

Practice what you preach.

With much love,

Lil Red

Not so sorry

So recently i got into an argument with two of my close friends for tweeting something that was not directed towards them but was generally about them and this tweet read:

 "I hate two faced people like I guess you don't have your own opinion that's cool okay"

We are currently not friends anymore.  But that's okay you wanna know why?  Because I'm done saying sorry for stating the truth.  I'm done going with the flow and doing whats cool and not whats me.  I'm done with the petty lies and girly drama.  

I'm sorry if I say something that offended you and I will apologize for that but I will not apologize for my opinion.  I will not apologize for being me.  I am who I am and if you don't like it then please exit my life.  

Well just wanted to rant a bit today before I have to go to school tomorrow.

With much love,

Lil Red

Mormon Probs...

So going to a public high school where there are only 6 Mormons I often run into many questions about Mormons.

Here are some of the many questions I get asked… and some of the many responses that float in my head.

Q:  I thought all Mormons have beards.

A:  We don’t get them until our 18^th Birthday.

Q:  How many moms do you have?

A:  I only have 12.

Q:  Don’t you do black magic?

A:  yes, do you want to see your future?

Q:  What are Missionaries?

A:  They’re kind of like Astronauts.

Q:  Don’t you worship the devil?

A:  We prefer to call him Satan.

Q:  Wait, so Thomas S. Monson and Joseph Smith aren’t the same person?

A:  Yes, they are.  He is immortal.

Well, those are some of the serious questions I’ve been asked before; not the responses I gave but you know...

Hope you had fun with that!

With much love,

Lil Red

For 'real' information about Mormons click the "I'm a Mormon" button on my sidebar.

Please and Thank You

 We go through life with basically everything handed to us. I am convinced we are the most spoiled generation ever.

So today while in school, I decided to count how many people held the door for someone or said thank you or please.

At the end of the day 7 people held open the door for some one.  6 were teachers.  

15 people had the chance to open the door for someone but didn't.  5 of those who didn't were teachers.  

13 people said thank you.  All 13 were teachers.  

23 had the chance but didn't.  7 of those who didn't were teachers.  

17 people said please today.  And a whopping 12 were teachers.  

14 had the chance and didn’t.  2 were teachers.

It boggles my mind that someone can be that concerned with themselves that they don't even bother with common everyday things that you should do and say out of respect. It kills me truly that I grow up in a generation like this.  

Well if this even in the least bit touched you I'm glad.  Maybe you can just start saying please and thank you if you didn't already. 

With much love,

Lil Red